Finding Your Voice in Every Room
Reading Time: ~5 mins
For the past few years, every room that I’ve stepped into professionally, I’ve been surrounded by those with fancy titles, credentials, and decades of experience. I still recall the first multi-agency meeting I stepped into earlier in my career and wondering if I had walked into the wrong room. Being the youngest, the least experienced, and frankly, the quietest, finding my voice was the last thing that came to mind, when the question of “do I even belong here?” echoed loudly in the background.
If you’re anything like me (introverted / young-ish / fairly new to a profession / quiet in general), imposter syndrome may be your largest enemy in life. Whether it’s starting a new job, joining a new organization, or just going through the motions of life, you may often hear the question of “am I good enough?” creep into your mind. If this rings a bell, read on to hear about my encounters with the ugly beast that is imposter syndrome, how I reigned it in to be my biggest motivator, and how you can overcome those intrusive thoughts in your mind too.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome manifests for each person in different ways. For some, it’s a quiet, nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that “you’re not good enough,” “you’re a fraud and you don’t belong,” or that “you’re only here because you got lucky.” For me, it hit hardest on an unusually chaotic day as I was juggling back-to-back meetings, an inbox filled with unread emails, and several requests for decisions related to a project, when my brain decided to drop this line out of nowhere: “you’re playing checkers while everyone else is playing chess”, which hit me like a freight train and stopped me in my tracks.
Imposter syndrome is more than just self-doubt or a lack of confidence. It erodes your confidence, holds you back from doing what you want to and are qualified to do, and when left unchecked, can derail your career, goals, and mental health. It’s not just annoying, it’s corrosive and dangerous.
How to Beat that Nagging Voice in your Mind into Submission
Many of you have likely been told to “fake it until you make it” as a way to circumvent imposter syndrome. One of the issues with that approach is that it doesn’t address the underlying feeling of inadequacy. It doesn’t build real confidence, but just teaches you to perform, and if you’re always performing, you’ll never truly belong. Over time, when you’ve gotten used to the feeling “fake” at every function or room you step into, you slowly lose sight what your authentic self truly looks like.
So if not that, then what?
One of the easiest ways to start combating imposter syndrome is reframing the underlying issue from “not being good enough” to “not having the same experiences, yet.” The subtle shift in phrasing can significantly change your mindset, from one of inadequacy, to one of continuous learning and curiosity, and one of confidence, knowing that you also bring unique experiences and thus, perspectives, that others may not have.
Another is to build up empirical evidence of your successes as a basis for your confidence. Whether is it the projects that you’ve worked on, the certificates that you’ve acquired, the awards or wins you’ve amassed, or just the collection of “great job”s and “well done”s you’ve received from others, the culmination forms a folder of “receipts” you can refer to when you need affirmation that you belong and that you’re doing well. For me, I have an achievement tracker (inspired by Provan Success) on Notion which I use to note small wins, significant milestones, and everything in between. Seeing my progress over the years has really helped me build my confidence, bit by bit.
The last, and arguably most difficult lesson to learn on combating imposter syndrome, is that, truly, no one cares about you that much. I don’t mean it in a condescending way or to single you out, but rather, to highlight the fact that most people are simply too engrossed with worrying about themselves to care about you and what you may have done that made you think you looked silly.
Need proof? Take a moment to think about the last time you’ve judged someone for doing or saying something silly in a professional setting. If you’re having a hard time doing so, that’s natural! If something does come to mind, how did it shift your perspective of that person? My guess is, unless it was something egregious, it likely had no impact on how you thought of that person.
Now let’s shift the subject, and instead think about a time when you made a mistake in front of an audience. Suddenly, all those moments that keep you up at night come bubbling right back, which proves my point that in the grand scheme of things, the only person most people care about, is themselves. So, the next time you get hung up over a mistake or worried about embarrassing yourself in a room full of people, just know that, they’re all worried about the same thing, and no one really has the capacity to judge, or remember, what you end up doing.
In fact, use this line of thinking to empower and set yourself free from worrying about other people’s judgment, and be unashamedly, unabashedly, you. Do what you are passionate for, step into rooms that you are intimidated by, and build those experiences so that eventually, that ugly voice in your head dissipates, and the only thing that’s left is the confidence you have to take on the world.
Finding Your Voice in a World that Often Rewards the Loudest Person in the Room
With imposter syndrome out of the way, everything’s golden!
…
Well, not quite. There’s still the issue of finding your voice, because confidence alone will not automatically translate into the right words coming out of your mouth when you step into an unfamiliar room.
So here’s the another important thing to keep in mind - relationships and influence are built through trust and consistency. Find your purpose and values and stand by them. Communicate them through your work and surround yourself with those who can amplify your impact. Leverage your unique experiences to paint a picture that others haven’t seen before, and focus on sharing your story. Once you build a reputation for clarity and conviction, you won’t have to be the loudest to be heard, but the person everyone turns to when the room is looking for guidance, direction, or meaning.
Takeaways:
Reframe imposter syndrome as evidence that you’re growing, rather than a sign of inadequacy.
Confidence is built, not borrowed - time to ditch faking it till you make it and start working towards being comfortable as your authentic self.
Acquire influence through conviction and consistency rather than by being the loudest person in the room.
What About You?
What journey did you undertake to shape your voice? I’d love to hear what finding your voice looked like from your point of view. Share your story in the comments below!
Additional Resources
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain - Explore the unique strengths of introversion and leverage them to your advantage - check it out on Indigo!
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown - Why everyone’s story matters, and why choosing authenticity is important - check it out on Indigo!
Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome by Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey - See how systemic factors reinforce feelings of being an imposter, and how leaders and organizations can do better.
Until next time,
Ryan
